They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
Philip Larkin's "This Be The Verse" stands as perhaps his most notorious and quoted poem, a twelve-line examination of familial inheritance that has transcended the boundaries of academic poetry to become a cultural touchstone. First published in his 1974 collection High Windows, the poem's explosive opening line and sardonic advice have earned it both admiration and criticism, while its deceptively simple structure belies a complex engagement with themes of determinism, human fallibility, and the perpetuation of emotional damage. This analysis seeks to explore the historical context of Larkin's provocative verse, examine its formal elements and literary techniques, unpack its thematic concerns, and consider its enduring cultural significance and psychological insights. Through this exploration, we can appreciate how Larkin's seemingly cynical meditation on parent-child relationships achieves its remarkable emotional resonance and continues to provoke readers nearly fifty years after its publication.
"This Be The Verse" emerged during a period of significant social change in Britain. The early 1970s witnessed the continued dissolution of traditional family structures, the aftermath of the sexual revolution, and growing skepticism toward established social institutions. Larkin, writing at the age of 52, occupied a unique position as observer of these transformations—neither fully of the pre-war generation nor aligned with the countercultural movements reshaping society. His position as university librarian at Hull provided him with a somewhat detached vantage point from which to observe these cultural shifts, while his own complicated relationship with domesticity and commitment informed his perspective on family dynamics.
Biographically, the poem can be understood as emerging from Larkin's own complex family history. His relationship with his father, Sydney Larkin, was particularly fraught. Sydney, the city treasurer of Coventry, had authoritarian tendencies and professed admiration for fascist regimes in the 1930s. This political alignment created tension within the family and likely contributed to Larkin's ambivalent feelings toward paternal authority. His relationship with his mother, Eva, was characterized by dependency and obligation rather than emotional warmth. After his father's death in 1948, Larkin maintained a dutiful relationship with his mother until her death in 1977, three years after "This Be The Verse" was published.
Larkin himself famously never married or had children, maintaining long-term but non-cohabiting relationships with several women throughout his adult life, including Monica Jones, Maeve Brennan, and Betty Mackereth. His decision to remain childless aligns with the final injunction of the poem, suggesting a personal philosophy that informed both his life choices and his literary output. However, it would be reductive to read the poem as merely autobiographical; rather, it represents a distillation of observations about human nature and generational patterns that transcends Larkin's individual circumstances.
The poem's publication in High Windows placed it within a collection that critic Christopher Ricks described as showing "a new naked immediacy" in Larkin's work. This collection engaged more explicitly with sexuality, mortality, and cultural change than his previous volumes, reflecting both Larkin's personal preoccupations in middle age and the broader social transformations of the period. "This Be The Verse" exemplifies this shift toward more direct engagement with contentious subjects, eschewing euphemism in favor of blunt assessment of human behavior.
Despite its provocative content, "This Be The Verse" employs a traditional poetic form that creates a productive tension between its conventional structure and its subversive message. The poem consists of three quatrains with an alternating iambic tetrameter/trimeter pattern and a consistent rhyme scheme. This metrical regularity provides a scaffold for Larkin's transgressive content, creating an ironic formality that heightens the impact of the colloquial language and controversial sentiment.
The title itself represents a significant literary allusion, echoing Robert Louis Stevenson's "Requiem" from A Child's Garden of Verses, which begins "This be the verse you grave for me." Stevenson's poem represents a peaceful acceptance of death and legacy, with its famous lines "Home is the sailor, home from sea, / And the hunter home from the hill." Larkin's appropriation of this opening phrase creates a sardonic contrast—where Stevenson offers comforting verses for remembrance, Larkin provides a caustic assessment of intergenerational damage. This intertextual relationship establishes an immediate ironic frame that continues throughout the poem.
Larkin's diction merits particular attention. The opening expletive serves multiple functions: it shocks the reader, establishes an informal conversational tone, and literally enacts the violation the poem describes. The vulgarity is not merely provocative but precisely chosen to convey the violence of psychological inheritance. Throughout the poem, Larkin alternates between coarse vernacular expressions ("fuck you up," "fucked up") and more measured analytical language ("They may not mean to," "Man hands on misery to man"), creating a linguistic texture that mirrors the poem's thematic concern with the coexistence of intentionality and inevitable harm.
The poem's syntactic patterns reflect its argumentative structure. Each stanza follows a similar pattern, beginning with declarative statements before shifting to more specific examples or consequences. The final stanza moves from broad generalization to direct imperative, transforming observation into advice with the concluding injunction to "Get out as early as you can, / And don't have any kids yourself." This progression from description to prescription gives the poem its rhetorical force, positioning the reader as both recipient of inherited damage and potential perpetrator of future harm.
Larkin employs several potent metaphors throughout the poem. The phrase "They fill you with the faults they had / And add some extra, just for you" suggests both inheritance and active transmission, portraying psychological damage as a tangible substance passed between generations. The coastal shelf metaphor in the third stanza—"It deepens like a coastal shelf"—is particularly evocative, suggesting both gradual intensification and inevitable natural processes. Coastal shelves drop suddenly after a gradual slope, implying that generational damage may reach a point of dramatic deepening rather than merely incremental increase. This geological metaphor positions human suffering within natural processes, suggesting a deterministic view of psychological inheritance that aligns with the poem's overall fatalism.
At its core, "This Be The Verse" explores the seemingly inescapable transmission of psychological damage across generations. The poem presents a deterministic view of human development, suggesting that parental influence—both genetic and environmental—shapes individuals in ways that perpetuate patterns of dysfunction. This theme aligns with mid-twentieth-century psychological theories, particularly those influenced by psychoanalytic thinking about the formation of personality through early childhood experiences.
The notion of unintentional harm is central to the poem's psychological insight. The second line—"They may not mean to, but they do"—introduces a crucial distinction between intention and effect that complicates moral judgments about parental behavior. By acknowledging that damage occurs despite good intentions, Larkin shifts focus from culpability to inevitability, suggesting that the parent-child relationship is inherently fraught regardless of individual virtue or effort. This recognition of unintentional harm reflects a sophisticated understanding of human psychology that transcends simple blame.
The second stanza broadens the historical scope, introducing grandparental influence with the description of "fools in old-style hats and coats." The temporal marker "old-style" positions these figures in a distinct historical period, suggesting that generational damage is influenced by specific social and historical circumstances. The characterization of grandparents as "soppy-stern" and "half at one another's throats" introduces behavioral inconsistency as another inherited trait, implying that emotional volatility and contradictory parenting approaches contribute to psychological damage across generations.
The poem's concluding stanza shifts from specific familial relationships to a universal principle: "Man hands on misery to man." This line elevates the poem's concerns from personal grievance to philosophical observation about the human condition. The use of "man" rather than more specific terms universalizes the experience, suggesting that this pattern transcends individual families or cultural contexts. By positioning generational damage as a fundamental human process analogous to geological formation (the coastal shelf), Larkin suggests a pessimistic view of human nature and social relations.
The final couplet—"Get out as early as you can, / And don't have any kids yourself"—represents the poem's most controversial aspect. This direct advice proposes individual withdrawal from family systems and rejection of reproduction as the only solution to inherited damage. This proposition reflects the anti-natalist philosophical position that bringing children into existence constitutes harm given the inevitability of suffering. While some readers interpret these lines as merely hyperbolic or ironic, they align consistently with the poem's deterministic view of human development and suggest a genuine ethical stance regarding procreation and its consequences.
The enduring popularity of "This Be The Verse" stems partly from its articulation of universal psychological experiences. The poem validates feelings of having been damaged by parental influence while simultaneously acknowledging how parents themselves were shaped by their own upbringing. This dual recognition allows readers to situate their personal experiences within larger patterns of human behavior, potentially facilitating both self-understanding and empathy for others.
From a contemporary psychological perspective, the poem anticipates discussions about intergenerational trauma and attachment theory. Current research in developmental psychology emphasizes how attachment patterns and relational models are transmitted across generations, often unconsciously. Larkin's insight that parents transmit "the faults they had" along with "some extra, just for you" aligns with clinical observations about how unresolved parental traumas emerge in relationships with children, often in modified forms specific to each new relationship.
The poem's relevance extends to contemporary debates about reproductive ethics and environmental concerns. In an era of climate anxiety and uncertain futures, the anti-natalist position has gained increased visibility in philosophical and popular discourse. Larkin's stark advice to "don't have any kids yourself" resonates with contemporary arguments about the ethics of bringing children into a world facing environmental degradation and social instability. The poem thus connects personal psychological damage to broader ethical questions about responsibility to future generations.
However, the poem's deterministic view of human development stands in tension with contemporary emphasis on resilience, post-traumatic growth, and the possibility of breaking generational cycles through conscious effort. Modern therapeutic approaches emphasize the potential for individuals to recognize and transform inherited patterns rather than merely reproduce them. While Larkin offers withdrawal and non-reproduction as the only solutions, contemporary psychology suggests the possibility of repair and transformation within ongoing relationships.
Nearly fifty years after its publication, "This Be The Verse" remains one of Larkin's most widely recognized and quoted poems, achieving a level of cultural penetration rare for contemporary poetry. Its memorability stems from several factors: the shocking opening line, the rhythmic regularity that facilitates memorization, and the universal applicability of its observations about family dynamics. The poem has been anthologized extensively, taught in classrooms (sometimes in censored form), and referenced in popular culture, including novels, films, and songs.
Literary critics have positioned the poem within various interpretive contexts. Some read it as exemplifying Larkin's characteristic English pessimism and his skepticism toward idealized visions of family life. Others view it through biographical lenses, connecting its anti-natal stance to Larkin's own childlessness and complicated family history. Feminist critics have noted that the poem's use of "mum and dad" distributes parental blame equally rather than focusing solely on maternal influence, as earlier psychoanalytic theories tended to do.
The poem has provoked significant debate about the relationship between literary merit and moral sensibility. Some critics have questioned whether the poem's nihilistic conclusion represents a defensible ethical position or merely a provocative literary pose. Others have defended its value as an honest articulation of a perspective rarely acknowledged in discussions of family life, arguing that its power lies precisely in its willingness to confront uncomfortable truths about human relationships.
The reception of "This Be The Verse" has been further complicated by posthumous revelations about Larkin's personal views, including expressions of racism, misogyny, and right-wing political sympathies found in his letters and diaries. These revelations have prompted reconsideration of his work, raising questions about how biographical knowledge should inform literary interpretation. Some readers find it difficult to reconcile the humanistic insights of poems like "This Be The Verse" with the less admirable aspects of Larkin's character revealed in his private writings.
Philip Larkin's "This Be The Verse" achieves its remarkable power through the tension between its formal precision and its provocative content, between its specific observations about family dynamics and its universal claims about human nature. By addressing the unintentional transmission of psychological damage across generations, Larkin articulates an uncomfortable truth about human relationships that resonates across cultural and historical boundaries.
The poem's enduring significance stems from its ability to function simultaneously as personal confession, social critique, and philosophical statement. Whether readers ultimately accept or reject its pessimistic conclusion, the poem forces confrontation with fundamental questions about inheritance, responsibility, and the possibility of breaking cycles of harm. In its unsparing examination of how "man hands on misery to man," the poem exemplifies Larkin's distinctive contribution to twentieth-century literature: an unflinching attention to human limitation expressed with formal mastery and emotional precision.
"This Be The Verse" demonstrates how poetry can articulate psychological insights with an economy and impact unmatched by more explicitly theoretical discourses. Through its twelve meticulously crafted lines, Larkin captures the complex dynamics of generational inheritance, the unintentional nature of psychological harm, and the ethical dilemmas posed by reproduction in a flawed world. Nearly five decades after its publication, the poem continues to provoke, console, and challenge readers—a testament to Larkin's singular ability to transform personal observation into enduring art.
Click the button below to print a cloze exercise of the poem critique. This exercise is designed for classroom use.