I know my mind and I have made my choice;
Not from your temper does my doom depend;
Love me or love me not, you have no voice
In this, that is my portion to the end.
Your presence and your favours, the full part
That you could give, you now can take away:
What lies between your beauty and my heart
Not even you can trouble or betray.
Mistake me not—unto my inmost core
I do desire your kiss upon my mouth;
They have not craved a cup of water more
That bleach upon the deserts of the south;
Here might you bless me; what you cannot do
Is bow me down, that have been loved by you.
Edna St. Vincent Millay's sonnet "I know my mind" presents a fascinating example of how modernist poetry engaged with traditional forms while expressing distinctly contemporary sentiments about love, autonomy, and power dynamics in relationships. This 14-line poem, with its declaration of emotional independence alongside an admission of passionate desire, exemplifies Millay's characteristic blend of intellectual fortitude and sensual honesty. Published during America's first wave of feminism, this sonnet articulates a vision of love that refuses submission without denying desire—a revolutionary stance for a female poet of her era. This analysis will examine the poem's formal elements, thematic concerns, historical context, and its significance within Millay's larger body of work and the broader literary tradition.
Edna St. Vincent Millay (1892-1950) emerged as a prominent voice in American poetry during the 1920s, a period marked by significant social transformation and the first wave of feminism. The aftermath of World War I, the suffrage movement, and changing norms around sexuality created a cultural environment where traditional gender roles and romantic expectations were being questioned and redefined. Millay's work, particularly her love poetry, reflects this historical moment through its bold articulation of female desire and agency.
Unlike many of her modernist contemporaries who rejected traditional forms in favor of free verse and experimental techniques, Millay often worked within established poetic structures, particularly the sonnet. However, she infused these conventional forms with modern sensibilities and feminist perspectives. Her approach represented what some critics have termed "traditional innovation"—maintaining the technical discipline of established forms while radically reimagining their content and emotional stance.
Millay was both celebrated and criticized for her frank discussions of female sexuality and rejection of conventional romantic narratives that positioned women as passive recipients of male desire. "I know my mind" exemplifies her characteristic blend of formal discipline and emotional radicalism, presenting a speaker who maintains complete intellectual autonomy while acknowledging profound physical desire.
"I know my mind" follows the structure of a traditional English or Shakespearean sonnet, comprising fourteen lines of iambic pentameter divided into three quatrains and a concluding couplet. This formal choice is significant, as the sonnet has historically been associated with expressions of romantic love, often from a male perspective toward a female object of desire. By adopting this form but inverting its typical power dynamics, Millay engages in a subtle but profound act of literary subversion.
The poem's meter is predominantly iambic pentameter, creating a rhythmic regularity that reinforces the speaker's sense of control and self-possession. However, Millay introduces strategic variations to this metrical pattern, particularly at moments of emotional intensity. For instance, the opening line "I know my mind and I have made my choice" begins with a stressed syllable ("I"), immediately establishing the centrality and authority of the speaker's selfhood.
The poem's syntax reinforces its thematic concern with self-determination. The first quatrain opens with three declarative statements that firmly establish the speaker's agency: "I know," "I have made," and "Love me or love me not." This syntactical pattern creates a tone of certainty and resolution that underpins the entire sonnet.
The poem's diction balances formal, even archaic language ("unto my inmost core," "that have been loved by you") with more direct expressions ("I do desire your kiss upon my mouth"). This linguistic tension mirrors the poem's central paradox—the coexistence of intellectual detachment and physical longing.
The central thematic tension in "I know my mind" emerges from the speaker's simultaneous assertion of emotional autonomy and acknowledgment of physical desire. The opening quatrain establishes the speaker's independence: "Not from your temper does my doom depend." The use of the word "doom" here is particularly striking, suggesting that the speaker views romantic entanglement as potentially catastrophic—a fate to be controlled rather than surrendered to.
This assertion of autonomy continues in the second quatrain, where the speaker acknowledges the beloved's power to withdraw "presence" and "favours" but insists on the inviolability of her inner emotional life: "What lies between your beauty and my heart / Not even you can trouble or betray." This distinction between external actions and internal emotional states forms the philosophical core of the poem, suggesting that true independence lies not in the absence of desire but in maintaining self-knowledge and integrity even in the presence of powerful attraction.
The turn or volta occurs dramatically at the ninth line with "Mistake me not," signaling the speaker's shift from assertions of independence to confessions of desire. The imagery in the third quatrain is notably more sensual and desperate, comparing the speaker's longing for a kiss to the thirst of those "that bleach upon the deserts of the south." This vivid metaphor of extreme physical need creates a stark contrast with the emotional self-possession established earlier.
What makes this confession remarkable is not the admission of desire itself but the speaker's refusal to allow this desire to compromise her fundamental autonomy. The final couplet articulates this distinction with striking clarity: "Here might you bless me; what you cannot do / Is bow me down, that have been loved by you." The physical consummation of desire is framed as a "blessing"—a gift that can be bestowed or withheld—but not as something that grants the beloved power over the speaker's essential selfhood.
The poem presents a radical reconceptualization of romantic power dynamics, particularly for its time. The traditional narrative of romantic love often positions desire as a force that overwhelms and subjugates the lover. By contrast, Millay's speaker insists on maintaining her agency even while acknowledging the intensity of her physical longing.
Particularly noteworthy is the speaker's reference to having "been loved by you," suggesting that the experience of being the object of love becomes a source of strength rather than vulnerability. Being loved does not diminish the speaker's power but enhances it, creating a form of emotional armor against future subjugation. This reversal represents a feminist reimagining of romantic relationships, one that allows for both passion and independence.
The poem employs imagery that reinforces the speaker's self-sovereignty. The metaphorical language of "my portion to the end" evokes inheritance law, suggesting that the speaker's emotional autonomy is a birthright or permanent possession that cannot be alienated. Similarly, the image of something that lies between "beauty" and "heart" that cannot be "troubled" or "betrayed" suggests an inviolable inner sanctum of selfhood.
The desert metaphor in lines 11-12 represents the most vivid imagery in the poem, shifting from the abstract language of emotional states to the concrete physicality of thirst. This metaphor accomplishes several things simultaneously: it communicates the intensity of the speaker's physical desire; it frames this desire as a fundamental bodily need rather than a frivolous or shameful impulse; and it suggests the life-or-death stakes of genuine passion without romanticizing self-abnegation.
The poem incorporates subtle religious language, particularly in the final couplet's reference to "bless me." This terminology frames physical intimacy as a sacramental act rather than a transaction of power. By using religious language, Millay elevates sexual desire from the merely physical to the potentially transcendent, while still maintaining that even transcendent experiences cannot compromise fundamental self-determination.
Millay's approach to desire and autonomy in "I know my mind" can be productively contrasted with other traditions of love poetry. Unlike Petrarchan sonnets, which typically portray the lover as helplessly enthralled by the beloved, Millay's speaker maintains her agency. Unlike the metaphysical poets, who often reconciled physical desire and spiritual love through elaborate conceits, Millay presents a more grounded vision of desire as a bodily reality that exists alongside but does not overcome intellectual independence.
The poem's vision of love can be compared to the work of Millay's contemporary, H.D. (Hilda Doolittle), who similarly explored female desire while rejecting traditional power dynamics. However, where H.D. often employed mythological frameworks and imagist techniques, Millay's approach is more direct and declarative, rooted in personal experience rather than mythic archetypes.
While biographical readings of poetry risk reductionism, "I know my mind" does resonate with what we know of Millay's personal life and philosophy. Known for her open bisexuality and numerous romantic relationships, Millay consistently rejected conventional expectations of female romantic behavior. Her famous statement that her candle "burns at both ends" reflects a commitment to experiencing life's pleasures without surrendering her independence—a sentiment that aligns closely with the speaker's position in this sonnet.
The poem may also reflect Millay's complex relationship with her own literary success. As a female poet gaining recognition in predominantly male literary circles, she had to navigate being both the subject of admiration and an independent creative force. The determination to be loved without being diminished by that love finds parallels in her professional navigation of fame and critical attention.
Throughout her career, Millay's work received varied critical responses that often reflected changing attitudes toward female sexuality and traditional poetic forms. Early critics sometimes dismissed her love poetry as merely confessional or overly emotional—a common criticism leveled at female poets. Later feminist criticism has reclaimed Millay's work, recognizing the radical nature of her approach to desire and autonomy at a time when women's sexual expression remained heavily constrained.
"I know my mind" exemplifies what makes Millay's work enduringly significant: its ability to acknowledge the reality of passionate desire while insisting on the inviolability of personal agency. This balance challenges both traditional romantic narratives that frame love as surrender and certain feminist positions that view heterosexual desire as inherently compromising to female independence.
The poem engages with several philosophical questions about selfhood, desire, and interpersonal power. It presents a vision of human relationships that recognizes both our vulnerability to desire and our capacity for self-determination—a nuanced position that rejects simple dichotomies between reason and passion.
The speaker's insistence that being loved becomes a source of strength rather than weakness suggests a conception of love as potentially empowering rather than diminishing. This perspective resonates with existentialist ideas about how personal history becomes incorporated into one's ongoing self-creation rather than determining it.
Additionally, the poem raises questions about the nature of autonomy itself. Rather than presenting independence as the absence of desire or attachment, Millay suggests that true autonomy lies in maintaining self-knowledge and integrity even in the presence of powerful emotions—a more realistic and sustainable vision of human freedom.
Edna St. Vincent Millay's "I know my mind" represents a significant contribution to the tradition of love poetry, offering a vision of romantic desire that neither denies the reality of physical longing nor accepts it as inevitably compromising to personal agency. Through its skillful use of the sonnet form, vivid imagery, and philosophical complexity, the poem articulates a thoroughly modern perspective on love while engaging with timeless questions about desire, selfhood, and interpersonal power.
The poem's enduring relevance stems from its refusal to simplify the complexities of human relationships. It acknowledges both our vulnerability to passion and our capacity for self-determination, suggesting that these seemingly contradictory aspects of human experience can coexist. In doing so, it offers a vision of love that honors desire without romanticizing self-abnegation—a vision that remains as challenging and necessary today as it was in Millay's time.
By insisting on the possibility of being both passionate and autonomous, Millay's sonnet continues to speak to contemporary readers navigating the complex terrain of desire and identity in a world still struggling to reconcile traditional romantic narratives with evolving understandings of gender, power, and selfhood. In its elegant fourteen lines, "I know my mind" offers not just a declaration of independence but a nuanced manifesto for loving on one's own terms.
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