Harold Be Thy Name
Richard
Track 1
Reconstruct the poem by dragging each line into its correct position. Your goal is to reassemble the original poem as accurately as possible. As you move the lines, you'll see whether your arrangement is correct, helping you explore the poem's flow and meaning. You can also print out the jumbled poem to cut up and reassemble in the classroom. Either way, take your time, enjoy the process, and discover how the poet's words come together to create something truly beautiful.
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Is equal to the sum of squares on its sides
I can recite the periodic table
I learned that the square on the hippopotamus
But I daren't ask the teacher such questions
And can solve for X in my sleep
I wasn't shown the way to change a flat tyre
They made us recite the Lord's Prayer each day
And I'm still failing most of its tests
I'd sooner teach a cat to fly
A complete waste of time, as I'd later learn
Or how to cook more than just beans on toast
But they never taught me how to change a nappy
Or tell if she's just not that into you
"Our Father, which art in heaven, Harold be thy name," we'd say
I learned that God's first name was Harold
That the next decade would be even more vexed
The curriculum lacked "How to Budget 101"
They drilled me on dangling participles
No lesson plan on how to read a room
With knowledge as useful as ashes in an urn
When I was just a lad in short trousers
Or mend a broken heart when love's on the wane
They forgot to teach me small talk at parties
They skipped the class on handling rejection
And how to know if no means yes or yes means no, too
The school of life's been my real teacher
And name every bone in the human leg
I know the date of the Battle of Hastings
I'm as useful as a one-armed man changing a lightbulb
But dealing with a sulking teenager?
And "Dealing with In-laws" wasn't on the list
I wondered why the Almighty's kingdom would come
No, they never taught me how to get a divorce
Or how to say her bottom doesn't look so big
I memorized osmosis, photosynthesis
Or how to tactfully refuse to be a wedding guest
Or cope when the kids have flown the nest
But negotiating a pay rise with the boss?
Or calm a colicky babe at two AM
Little did I know, as I stood there perplexed
And how to find the cosine of pi
For fear she'd think me damaged at birth
They never taught me how to fix a leaking tap
I'd rather wrangle a flock of angry sheep
But when it comes to cooking Sunday roast
And why we'd want His will "done" on earth
They didn't mention how to please the taxman
And how Henry the Eighth disposed of his brides