The Ants Go Marching One By One

There's a parade in me kitchen, not of proud men in hats
But of tiny black insects, marching like bureaucrats
I've tried every trick, from spray to sticky traps
But these six-legged squatters, they're clever little chaps

Oh, the ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah
They've claimed me sugar bowl, and now they want me honey jar
I've waged a losing war, against this arthropod corps
But the ants keep marching, one by one, hurrah

I've laid out poison, placed boots 'round every leg
Of table and chair, like some mad peg-legged peg
But they build their bridges, with bodies of the dead
These kamikaze crawlers, have gone straight to me head

Now I've had an epiphany, as I watch them toil away
Cleaning up me crumbs, like a free maid service, hey!
So I'll put down me weapons, and with them I'll coexist
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em - I'm now a Myrmecologist!

The ants keep marching, one by one
In me kitchen, the battle's done
We've reached a truce, some might say it's daft
But at least now, the floor's spotless fore and aft!