Matilda Who told Lies, and was Burned to Death
Hilaire Belloc
1870 to 1953
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Matilda told such Dreadful Lies,
It made one Gasp Stretch one's Eyes;
Her Aunt, who, from her Earliest Youth,
Had kept a Strict Regard for Truth,
Attempted to Matilda:
The effort very nearly killed her,
And would done so, had not She
Discovered this Infirmity.
For once, towards the Close of Day,
Matilda, growing tired of play,
And finding she was left alone,
Went tiptoe to Telephone
And summoned the Immediate Aid
Of London's Noble Fire-Brigade.
Within an hour the Gallant Band
Were pouring in every hand,
From Putney, Hackney Downs, and Bow.
With high and Hearts a-glow,
They galloped, roaring through the Town,
'Matilda's House is Burning Down!'
Inspired by British and Loud
Proceeding from the Frenzied Crowd,
They ran ladders through a score
Of windows on the Ball Floor;
And took Peculiar Pains to Souse
The Pictures and down the House,
Until Matilda's Aunt succeeded
In them they were not needed;
And even then she to pay
To get the Men to go away,
happened that a few Weeks later
Her Aunt was to the Theatre
To see that Interesting Play
The Mrs. Tanqueray.
She had refused to take her Niece
hear this Entertaining Piece:
A Deprivation Just and Wise
Punish her for Telling Lies.
That Night a Fire break out--
You should have heard Matilda Shout!
You have heard her Scream and Bawl,
And throw the up and call
To People passing in the Street--
(The rapidly increasing Heat
Encouraging her to obtain
Their confidence) -- but all in vain!
For every time she shouted 'Fire!'
They only answered 'Little Liar!'
And therefore her Aunt returned,
Matilda, and the House, were Burned.